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Cole Haan motorcycle shearling coat, 3.1 Philip Lim tote, Vince Camuto boots, LeatherCoatsEtc beret and gloves, DIY brooch and Banana Republic leather skirt (all own)

Stalking has become worse

Logging in into facebook has become a nightmare. The number of stalkers has increased that seem to just hang out there to wait for me to login. I can’t even finish writing a comment, reply or post without someone trying to chat with me, call me or wave at me. The chat/message box pops up every time. No, these aren’t readers or subscribers of my blog nor  friends, nor friends of friends. Just creepy.

Then there are those who make nasty comments or use the only negative emij on facebook, the angry face. Don’t the posters realize that their mean/nasty comments basically throw a bad view on themselves? Their friends and family can see them. What must they think about these persons? Even worse, don’t they know that potential employers google them and their e-life? Where are their social skills? Under this aspect GDPR makes sense. I will address unsolisticated emails later.

#fashionover50 Alaskan woman walking thru the dark in a shearling coat, booties and beret
Cole Haan shearling coat with side zipper closure, 3.1 Philip Lim work bag, Vince Camuto suede boots, LeatherCoatsEtc beret and gloves, DIY brooch and Banana Republic midi leather skirt (all own)

The introduction of GDRP made a lot of work

This European law serves to protect readers/people from unsolisticated emails. A good intend, especially when you look at all those stalkers on social media. However, it meant a lot of work for bloggers to set up and implement privacy policies, redo email lists etc. That work took me six weeks meaning less time for writing posts. 🙁 or other fun stuff.

High Latitude Style blogger lifting hands in the dark in the snow wearing a pink gray winter office outfit
Vince Camuto sloughy footwear, Hermes collier de chien bangle, pink suede gemstone long belt, Brooks Brothers turtleneck cashmere sweater, Banana Republic leather skirt (all own) and turnip ribbed tight c/o No nonsense

Unprofessional brand representatives

Of course, there are those media reps or PR reps who ask you to write a wishlist for them and then pick a piece for up to $X from their store on which you are also to write a review post. Here X stands for the amount of money, typically around $30 or so. However, their items are all just a little above that price or way below that price. Thus, you will end up with $19.95 or so worth in merchandise for two posts. The catch? Bloggers – even hobby bloggers – actually want rather money than free (cheap) clothes. Why? To cover the costs of blogging like paying for the domain, paying for a blog design, blog hosting, linkup parties, email services, software, etc.

Back view of Alaskan woman in a snown in city in turtleneck, skirt, belt, tights and matching footwear
Back view of winter work look with Vince Camuto sloughy footwear, Hermes collier de chien bangle, pink belt, Brooks Brothers turtleneck, Banana Republic midi skirt, barrette (all own) and opaque tight c/o No nonsense

Some of their promotional managers become even really nasty and behave like they are doing a blogger a favor when they send them samples. One of them even got upset when I friendly apologized that their clothing wouldn’t be my style and that all their pieces wouldn’t come in my size. Their size chart started at size M. Are they under such pressure to find fashion, style or lifestyle bloggers of a certain age to present their clothing that they

  1. don’t even care whether the clothing would fit the blogger and moreover
  2. wouldn’t even resonnance with their blog’s readers???

Just asking!

Some sponsors have reasonable proposals for subjects of interest to stylish women in midlife. They get mad when you tell them that you don’t do “do follow” links. Their responses then read like this:

I need dofollow link.

Working with medium expensive brands isn’t the solution

This year I worked in a camaign with some major medium price brands. They used a company for handling the payments of the sponsored posts. Despite I delivered my posts on time, fulfilled all requirements and brought the a lot of traffic to the campaign, they never paid me. Instead they played a company internal ping pong. The contact person with whom I worked on the campaign brought me in contact with the person “responsible” for the payment in their financial department. That person gave me the contact of another person responsible for the payments of the respective campaign I was in. That person then sent me back to the contact person, etc. I felt like Asterix and Obelix in The House that Sends You Mad. Don’t know the movie? Watch it! It’s hillarious as long as it doesn’t happend to yourself.

To make a long story short, in the end, I even got an email stating that the payment for the campaign had closed and they couldn’t pay me as they had sent their payment report to the brands!

In another case, the contact person was even so primitive to just not answer my emails. A third one even let them bounce back. In other words, she blocked me. So cheap.

Blogger-brand connector platforms

A brand blogger-connection platform asked me to test-drive their software and give them feedback for improvements and identify what’s not working. After I submitted a thourough report pointing out at least 10 major flaws and many more minor problems with their software, I never heard back from them. Not to mention they never paid.

CEO of High Latitude Style walking down the snowy street
Vince Camuto sloughy booties, pink gemstonebelt, Brooks Brothers sweater, Banana Republic A-line skirt (all own) and thick tight c/o No nonsense

Unsolisticated emails for “guest posts”

Then there are these emails out of the blue. They are all some variation of this one here. They all have one thing in common: English that sounds like they had used a very bad translation software from the early 90s.

Subjet: I need sponsor post at:
Body text: we can write article related to fashion but one paragraph will be related to XYZ

Here XYZ is what they actually do, for instance, checking broken links, make loading faster, bring a blog first up on google (with a keyword nobody in the right mind would search for.). The above example is still one of the least aggressive ones. The email doesn’t say

  1. what they want to write about in fashion,
  2. what is the intent of their paragraph on XYZ,
  3. what are their site and/or merchandise.

When you friendly tell them that your blog addresses professional women in midlife who are interested in turning fashion into style and that you only do accept sponsored posts that you think fall into the interest of this audience, the email writers answer something like this:

I need dofollow link. I am blogger dear.

Yes, they use bold letters! Again, this answer is one of the less upsetting ones.

Style blogger Nicole Mölders standing in snowy street in pink-gray LOTD
Zoom-in on the look to show details

What messages do they actually send to the World?

Just imaging how they will treat a customer who wants to return something for whatever reason. Just imagine how they treat their employees when they treat the people like slaves (may be another s-word would be more appropriate here) whom they ask to promote their items. In my opinion, such unprofessionalism and abuse will only stop when – hobby and professional bloggers – stand tight and don’t let them play their pity games. Their abuse of bloggers also harms all those brands that have high ethical standards for how they treat both their customers, and those people who promote their merchandise and services.

The majority are good

Well the majority of brands have a professional relationship with their bloggers. I don’t want to work with those brands that permit their promotion management staff to show such behavior. I can’t send my readers to a brand that treats people disrespectfully whom they want to work for them. How will they treat my readers when they treat me like that?

When you like the outfit inspiration on the blog, and want styling tips for all kind of dressing situation in midlife, buy my book How to Dress for Success in Midlife.

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Photos: G. Kramm

© 2013-2019 Nicole Mölders | All rights reserved

This Post Has 13 Comments

  1. shelbeeontheedge1

    So true, Nicole! And much of it so annoying. I recently had three different guest post solicitations, from the same person (same email address) wanting to post on three different topics that have absolutely nothing to do with my content. I ignored the emails. Then started receiving nasty emails from the same person stating that she would “appreciate a response”. So I politely responded declining her offer. Only to receive more rude emails. Then I got a bit nasty. I don’t like to get nasty. But I guess sometimes that is the only way to respond to ignorance! Great post. Thanks for sharing! I had been wondering if other bloggers were dealing with the same issues. Now I know!


  2. Nicole Mölders

    Yes, they seem to be everywhere on social media even twitter!

  3. Linda Cassidy

    great post and so very true. Also creepers on Instagram, OH MY LORD it is awful

  4. Amy

    This is a great post, Nicole, and I have found some of the very same things. Your post really lays it out how it can be “behind the scenes”.

  5. Nicole Mölders

    I am on YouTube, but haven’t done much there so far and haven’t so far had any of those weird people.

  6. Nicole Mölders

    Dir und den deinen auch inklusive dem süßen Kater Jake.

  7. Nicole Mölders

    You are welcome. Merry Christmas to you and yours too.

  8. Stylease

    Thanks for sharing this great resource here, Nicole 🙂
    It was really helpful!
    Merry Xmas <3

  9. ahhhsoneo

    This was a very informative post – sometimes we forget what folks have to deal with this. I used to love blogging, before it became all about advertising and selling things. Ive kept it as a hobby and rarely check my junk email, where these solicitations end up.

  10. Sabine Gimm

    Du siehst toll aus liebe Nicole. Das Jahr war für Blogger wirklich anstrengend. Die DSGVO umzusetzen vor allem. Aber wir haben das geschafft.

    Dir und Deinen Lieben frohe Weihnachten.

    Liebe Grüße Sabine

  11. Nancy

    Great post! Since the beginning of this year I decided not to work with companies who want do follow links. They so reply like that! Whaaaa, awfull right! Sometimes I am even surprised by a very nice collaboration. Merry Christmas Nicole!

  12. the frugal fashion shopper

    I hear what you’re saying. On my blog most of these requests go to my Spam. I don’t have any bother on Facebook as I’m barely on it. Actually I’ve never wanted to monetise my Frugalfashionshopper blog. However, I have noticed that Instagram is full of fake men (!) and then there are people who occasionally message to ask about a great partnership because you have such great style – I ignore those!!!! But I’m just about to launch myself on YouTube and on that I’ll see whether making any money is possible and I shall watch out for any scams.

Comments are closed.