You are currently viewing Dressing for Your Public, Private and Secret Life
GNW leopard print cardigan worn as top, Oliveo linnen pants, GG pumps, Ray Ban sunglasses, structured bag, Judith Leiber gemstone charm belt (all own) and cape hoodie c/o Tricia Tanaka

Most people dress differently at home and for work or their “pubic life.” This post explores the differences and reasons behind this behavior.

  1. Fashion of Life Lately
  2. Overlapping Dressing Situations
  3. Dressing for the Private Life
  4. Your Secret Life
  5. OOTD
  6. 202nd Top of the World Style linkup party

Disclosure: There are affiliate links in this post. You don’t pay more when you purchase a product through my link. These links just make it easier for you to find something, and I get a few cents when you purchase it. I so appreciate your support of High Latitude Style. Thank you!

Fashion of Life Lately

Ever since I read Patricia Gucci’s book In the Name of Gucci, I have been thinking about her statement

Everyone has three lives.
A secret life, a private life and a public life.
Ultimately, however, only an aware life is worth living.

Public Dressing May Have a Dress Code

Well, the public life is obvious. That’s your life with your friends, at work, at the gym, in your community, at church, as a volunteer, at the grocery store, Farmers Market, at your (grand)kids’ school, in your clubs, etc. and on social media (no matter of your settings). Each of these situation has sort of a generally accepted dress code what is appropriate to wear. Even what to wear at a high school reunion.

What to wear in any of these situations can be nailed down into a recipe on how to dress for success in midlife like in my book with this title. Your personal style comes in with what these ingredients, i.e. clothing items look like in your edited wardrobe.

When you attend a Military Ball, for instance, what you wore will be out in public. Selfies and group photos are made, and even when you didn’t have your photo taken, you may appear in the one or other photo. People will recognize you even when you have never talked a word in private before. They may greet you when they she you at your front door, SeaTac or anywhere in the world.

Dressing for the Private Life

Your private life is also obvious. Just think of the family reunions, for example. You dress for comfort and memorable photos.

over 50 years old style blogger in spring business casual work outfit with hoodie cardigan animal print top, linnen pants, Gucci footwear
GNW leopard print cardigan worn as top, Oliveo linnen pants, GG pumps, Ray Ban sunglasses, structured bag, Judith Leiber gemstone charm belt (all own) and cape hoodie c/o Tricia Tanaka

midlife blogger in cape cardigan with hood, linnen trousers, croco work tote and sunnies

Nicole of High Latitude Style in all neutral Casual Friday outfit
Zoom-in on cape jacket and tote

Overlapping Dressing Situations

Well there is also an overlap of private and public life, just think about your kid’s graduation. You go there because it’s your kid. But it’s a public celebration of the university as well. And yes, you honor and acknowledge this mixed situation by how you dress to celebrate the successful graduation. Woman, the graduation means you now can spend a big fraction of your hard earned money on yourself. However, you keep this thought to

otfit details of shoes and belt
Zoom-in on the footwear and belt

Your Secret Life

Every thought that you have and that you don’t share with anybody, is part of your secret life. Your anxieties, even when your anxiety is just about what to wear when.

It’s also about your dreams that you fear to share. They may range from something material like a statement bag to something extreme like changing your life.

And then there is the accumulation of your traumas. Things that (had) hurt you, but you never spoke to anyone about it. The reasons for being silent may be manifold. The fear to be misunderstood, sound egocentric, being victimized or discriminated, judged, excluded, show a weakness, putting yourself at disadvantage, making the situation worse, being ridiculed or even considered to be crazy, etc.. There may be shame even when what happened to cause the trauma wasn’t your fault, and you were the victim.

Your secret life is also your frustrations, your disappointments, all thoughts including intrigues, strategies, and planning. It’s also who you could be if you just worked on it.

Nicole wearing street chic with statement belt, sunnies, trouser, cape, cardigan and statement shoes

over 50 years old style blogger in all neutral business casual look with rouser, cardigan and top
GNW leopard print cardigan worn as sweater, Oliveo trousers with side zipper, GG loafers, Ray Ban sunnies, structured purse Judith Leiber chain belt (all own) and cape hoodie c/o Tricia Tanaka


In your secret life, even when you dream of that great dress, pair of shoes, etc., you are naked, nude to the bones. You know you and you can’t hide from yourself or dress to convey a (faux) message. It’s brutal honesty and reality. Only you know what’s bubbling and cooking there, the tumults, and you can be your own enemy blocking yourself from pursuing your dreams or your best friend helping to live your dreams. Your secret life and how you deal with it can pull you up or down.


I went for an all neutrals business casual look with a cape hoodie, the animal print trend, linen trousers and loafers. See this post for the review on the cape hoodie. At this time a year, sunnies are a Must-have in Interior Alaska. The Sun leads to a lot of glear on the remaining snow.  FYI, we just got another load of snow on Wednesday.

202nd Top of the World Style linkup party

Welcome to the Top of the World Style linkup! Thanks for coming. The featured guests from last weeks party are:

Top of the World Style Winner Darlene of Aquamarina Style
Darlene of Aquamarina Style became Top of the World Style Winner. Photo from her post


Darlene Messinger of of Aquamarina Style won the title Top of the World Style Winner. She presented and modeled the content of her Stitch Fix box.

Top of the World OOTD Readers’ Fav Chrissy of Granola and Grace in wedges and denim look
Chrissy of Granola and Grace became the Top of the World OOTD Readers’ Fav. Photo from her post


You clicked Chrissy’s post at Granola and Grace the most and made her the Top of the World OOTD Readers’ Fav.

Top of the World OOTD My Fav Lisa of Coast to Coast in spring outfit
Lisa of Coast to Coast became Top of the World OOTD My Fav. Photo from Laurie’s post


Lisa’s spring weekend outfit became my favorite. She is the blogger atCoast to Coast.

Congrats Ladies!

Please share the post so other fashionistas and fashionisters can join. Thank you!

See these awesome looks at the Top of the World Style #linkup party. #timelessstyle Click To Tweet

Photos of me: G. Kramm

© 2013-2021 Nicole Mölders | All rights reserved

This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. Ivana Split

    I like how you explained the secret life, very deep. So much goes into getting dressing. I’m convinced that fashion is like language deeply psychological. It is a way to communicate. Very fascinating once you really think about it. I enjoyed reading your thoughts.

    Your outfit is very stylish. I like the neutrals on you. You look beautiful and stylish.

  2. Lauren Sparks

    Very cool pieces. Visiting you from Nancy’s Fashion Style link up.

  3. Lisa Richardson

    Interesting post! I thought the secret life was just going to be hanging at home behind closed doors, but it was much deeper than that. Thanks so much for making me a fav. What a great way to start the weekend!!! XO

  4. aquamarinastyle

    How exciting to see my post featured in your Link Up, Nicole! Thanks for the shout out. I thought the other ladies’ posts were darling!! Thanks, too, for continuing to sponsor the Link Up.

    xx Darlene

  5. I had no idea you had a book! How cool is that? This is an interesting subject, it is true we have a secret, private and public life that we dress differently for… I def. put a lot more thought into my public life… I just love that charm belt when you wear it. Lovely look with the leopard top paired with the cardi as a sweater.


  6. Linda Cassidy

    interesting view points for sure. The three faces of eve almost

  7. fiercefashion

    I adore your featured ladies, congrats to all! Thoughtful post, Nicole. I’m wondering where the “authentic” fits in, or maybe always in each selection before it’s put into an outfit?

  8. Chrissy

    Wow! This is the first time I’ve been a reader fave – how exciting! 🙂 Thanks Nicole. Enjoyed your post. That secret life of mine has been pesky lately and I need to work on it for sure. Love the leopard print top Nicole!

Comments are closed.